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November 23, 2005

Linux Wizard

It was a blind date, yet we held hands from the moment we met.

He is vegetarian, and requested anything but American. I chose Udupi Palace, my new favorite Indian restaurant. They seated us in the window, which the Wizard thought spoke well of our attractiveness. Our thali's were, unfortunately, identical. I hardly touched my food, entranced by the novelty of dining with this intelligent, handsome man.

I thrive on novelty.

He has lovely long hair. When our heads touch, our hairs tangle just a bit, and I can feel the gentle pull. I found it very sensual, to be near a man with long hair.

He is intelligent. He talks fast. His conversation is hard to keep up with, perhaps partly because it assumes a knowledge base that I do not possess. "And now our conversation has come again to astronomy." I enjoy talking with him, though I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed.

His nose is perfectly shaped, with a hint of dimple. I love to touch his nose. He also has a dimple on his left cheek. He has a permanent 5-o'clock shadow. He walks fast. His ambition is not to be rich, but to be famous. He doesn't want kids, never has, never will. His hair smells flowery.

He is wonderful. But on this first date, I did not feel that my personality played to an appreciative audience. My excitement about walking past the building where my very own server is housed, for example, met no reflection in him, no fond willingness to join me in my silly exuberance.

We walked to a folksinger's one-man-show, holding hands, skipping and running, talking of minor things. A stranger on a cell-phone asked me, "Is this Shattuck?" I took the opportunity to quiz him back. "Which direction is Walnut?" This made the Wizard laugh! I missed the turn, but enquired of an an elderly couple soon enough, and they put us on the right path.

The music was the music. I didn't appreciate it all that much, except for the fretless zither. Sometimes the man sang so slowly, I had to invent lyrics to occupy myself. However, I was diverted from boredom by more of that delicious hand-holding previously mentioned. Stroking was added to the repertoire.

Walking home involved oscillations and an orbit.

Once home, I did something I have never done before. I asked my Linux Wizard if he would like to come up for a beverage. And he did, and we talked, I shared with him a secret not fitting for a first date. He recpirocated. Much kissing ensued. It was not easy to stop.

He is romantic. At the door, he picked up one of my hats, and kissed me goodbye beneath it. Then he put it back, picked up the next, and proceeded to kiss me goodbye beneath each and every hat. I bought two more, for our next goodbye!

My Linux Wizard. Is it miaow to notice that he would make my ex jealous?

November 21, 2005

Cell Phone Voicemail Rant

Why is it that cell phone voicemail systems insist on providing explicit instructions for leaving a message? As if we are all new to this whole "leave a message" phenomenon.

Actual examples:

Lisa says, "Leave me a message!" Her cell phone voicemail adds, "To leave a voice message, press one, or just wait for the tone. To send a numeric page, press two now. (long pause) At the tone, please record your voice message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press pound for more options. Beeeeep."

Total time: 19 seconds.

Christine's cell phone voicemail says the same thing. Christine and Lisa use Sprint.

Verizon is my service provider. I made a special effort to descend into the voice mail options and eradicate the callback number prompt. If you reach my cell phone voicemail, instead of me, you will hear my personal greeting followed by, "At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options."

Total time: 6 second! And that's the short version! Why, oh why, do our cell phone service providers not eliminate this lengthy disservice? Or, at the very least, provide a method for us to toggle the "instructions" off.

Are you annoyed, too? Most of us can shorten those compulsory cell phone voicemail instructions, and reduce our overall frustration level. For example, if you use Verizon, call voicemail and enter your password. (If there are messages, press * to enter the main menu, then...) Press 4 (personal options) then 2 (admininstrative options) then 1 (general options) then press 7 (turn callback number prompt on or off) and TURN THE DAMNED THING OFF.

This has been a public service rant.

November 18, 2005

Love-Hate Relationship with My Left Hand

My hand says, "Rabbit."
I don't know why.

I often jot important reminders on my hand. My left hand, because I am right-handed. Today my left hand says, RSS. SWitkin. TShirts. Library. Rabbit.

I don't know what Rabbit means. I don't want a rabbit for a pet. I don't want to eat rabbit for dinner. I recently laughed myself silly over the rabbit section of "Regrettable Foods" but that's not why I wrote Rabbit on my hand, I am certain of that.

Did I perhaps mean a word that sounds like Rabbit? Rabbi, for instance? While I do miss the Jewish rituals I celebrated with my ex-husband, I never intended to convert. Rabbi is unlikely. Perhaps I mean the small car. I am looking for a new car, but buying a Volkswagen Rabbit has never crossed my mind. And they stopped making them in 1984. I certainly don't want a 20-year-old Volkswagen!

Everything else written on my left hand, I understand. SWitkin is a man who is licensing my stories for a musical revue. RSS is a syndication feed. TShirts reminds me to get ancillary marketing going soon. Library is encouragement to locate the library, and stop spending $$ at Amazon.

But... Rabbit?
Was I reminding myself not to be timid?

I have a love-hate relationship with my left hand.