Weasels: the Final Saga (I hope)
Jane called. "This very hour, we signed the deal. I'm sorry," she said, "but it's bad news. DVD distribution only. We were 95% of the way with the ___ Home Video / ___ deal... and it wouldn't close, and it wouldn't close, and it wouldn't close..." (Hmmm, sounds familiar, much like YOUR tactics, Jane.) "Then they needed written confirmation for no International showings until US release... and apparently, well, apparently ____ released it. They sold it to Thailand."
What? "Sold it to--Thailand? in English?!"
"So. There was no time to make a new cut for the US market, it takes 6,7,8 months. They said we have to release it immediately." Piracy.
But why... I find words. "Why not release it in the UK, where its humor would be a big hit?" I can't comprehend why ____ sold it into piracy. How incompetent is this? Were they angry? Why would they do this to the movie? I mean, Thailand.
"They were accomodating us. We said, hold off, hold off... ____ has been really great with us, sitting on it one year-- but it was nowhere in their contract, you see, that they couldn't sell it... and they sold one of the little foreign rights."
"Now, will they release it in theaters in the UK, and internationally?"
"No, now that the US is going direct to video, they will also go direct to video."
"So they are each going direct to video because the other one did."
Why can't the US realease it immediately, wiothout a recut? Because audiences in LA don't like it. Critics don't like it, 'tis true. But I was in theaters at Sundance, and the audiences roared with laughter. The people seem to like it. I like it. True, the plot never resolves...
She begins to talk about where I come in, and that's where I leave.
I think it will take me days to calm down.
But while talking it out in the car, driving to Point Lobos with two smart strangers, I realize that it is actually all very amusing. The movie people screw me. Then the movie people are screwed over. Twice, in fact. Oh, and again at _________, with _____ _____ _____. What comes around, goes around. That's karma, baby.
Still, it's sad that theaters won't get to release The Foobar Awards. It's a cute movie. Maybe local theaters will show it anyway. I could offer them like, five or ten free books for a giveaway?!? <sigh> I want a copy of the DVD myself, now.
Life. Sit back and enjoy the ride.