The Waffler
How the Waffle Brunch was Saved
My waffle iron was seldom-used, so it was a surprise when it went on the fritz during its first use in public. Inviting the neighbors over for a waffle brunch meet-and-greet, was the invitation the little waffler needed to conk out.
I bought a new waffle maker for the next Sunday brunch. Round is the ideal waffle shape, the shape batter naturally forms when poured onto a hot iron. Regular, not Belgian-style, makes the best waffle, with smaller divots and more crispy, crunchy surface area. But as luck would have it, Target did not have a round waffle iron. And they did not have regular-style. Rats! But at least the hated, square, Belgian waffler was $10 cheap.
Shortly before the brunch, I opened the box. Inside was a sandwich press! I hastily returned the item to Target, to a clerk who looked askance at my claim that I found a sandwich press in the waffle box. I was vindicated when I found that EVERY cheap, square, Belgian waffle box on the shelf contained a sandwich press.
I sprang for the $20 cheap, square, LARGE Belgian waffle iron. At least there was actually a waffle iron in the box, not a sandwich press. At least my guests would have waffles, however square and Belgian.
I plugged in the waffle iron.
The smoke alarm went off.
Oh no!
We aired out the kitchen, wiped down the smoking iron, misted it with vegetable oil, and poured batter onto the hot iron. Seven minutes later... the indicator lights were not on. Not the red light, indicating it was still cooking. Not the green light, indicating it was done cooking. The waffle inside was still batter, sticking to the top and bottom of the grill.
Oh no!
Ian and Raz tried various electrical outlets, searched for an on-off switch, and even went so far as to read the manual. No joy. The new waffle maker was dead. During a waffle brunch.
Ever resourceful, Raz pulled out a frying pan, and began to cook flat waffles on the stove. No, they were not pancakes. They were flat waffles, and nobody who saw my stern expression would contradict me!
The smoke alarm went off!
Oh no.
Eventually, with a plastic bag over the smoke detector and the stove exhaust fan whirling, Raz managed to make flat waffles with the entire batch of batter, plus another 2/3 batch Ian managed to eke from the last crumbs of Bisquik.
And that's how the Waffle Brunch was saved.
The next waffle iron purchase will involve research. No more squares! No more Belgian style! The next waffler will be large, round, and regular style. With darkness control. With an audible "done" signal. And maybe with a cool feature such as toasting the weather report into the rim of the waffle.
Target accepted the return of the gooey waffle maker with little grace. I wish I had remembered to ask for a box of Bisquik and an egg.