The Moving Finger Writes...

Greg eats extremely healthy food. He is vegetarian, and keeps no junk food in his house at all. I have only seen him drink water, milk, beer, and wine. I've often remarked on his healthy diet. And yet... all is not as it seems.

We are in Dresden. Greg is here for the Second Largest Supercomputer Tradeshow on Earth. We are eating with Jimmy, Director of Sales Engineering. Greg tells Jimmy it's been 20 years since he last ate meat. Jimmy asks, "How long since your last Snickers?" I laugh incredulously. Greg simply smiles mysteriously.

Jimmy asks, "Six days?"

"What?" I exclaim in confusion. "Greg doesn't eat junk food."

"Greg eats Snickers for lunch every day."

Greg admits that he's known for his daily Coke and Snickers lunches! I've known Greg seven months, and shared numerous meals with him. I have never once seen him purchase or indulge in a candy bar. No wonder -- he fills up on sugar at work!

You don't really know a person, until you've met his work colleagues.

What else will I discover this week?!!

Posted by Goddess at 04:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was sitting on Aunt Fuzzy's carpet, crocheting. It was my first visit to Oklahoma. Suddenly she says, "Wendy, I don't mean to alarm you, but we've had two scorpions this year." I leap to my feet, shrieking. She laughs, "Oh, don't worry, there were only two, you're probably safe."

She found one crawling across the linoleum, and her daughter found another sitting on the sofa. How can I not be alarmed?

Later, her son Steve offers to show me the cows. She says, "Watch out for the chiggers." By now, more people are gathered in Aunt Fuzzy's living room. Her daughter and stepdaughter chime in, "Oh chiggers itch like crazy! And they make their way right up here, to your underwear elastic!" Chiggers are invisible, and they lurk in tall grass. You don't even know you have them until 24 hours later...

If you have chiggers, add 1/2 a capful of bleach to the bathtub, and soak in it. That will get rid of the chiggers, and stop the itching.

The last straw was the ticks. I'm petting her pretty dog Patsy, when Fuzzy warns me, "That dog has ticks."

Posted by Goddess at 01:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)